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By Lynne M. Thompson
It couldn't have happened to a nicer girl. Jana was a leader. Three days a week she taught Bible to young girls in Juvenile Hall. She also mentored two girls out of prison. And she was a nanny for two families. • Jana was involved in the church. She attended worship service on Sunday mornings. She made mission trips to Mexico and Azerbaijan. • Jana was successful. She was two months away from college graduation. She was popular with her church friends, and many considered her a godly woman. She was the last person they would have expected to get pregnant. She had a lot to lose.
 As a young 26-year-old woman with a polished reputation, Jana confessed she was at first tempted to hide her sin and abort the baby. "Fear and discouragement filled my mind. I couldn't imagine disappointing all the people around me. I thought that the one family that was supposed to be there for me, the church, would reject me."
Jana admitted that the decision-making process about whether to abort her baby was like a mental ping-pong game. She bounced back and forth between rationalizations and what she knew was right. "Satan laid out my whole life before me as a single parent: diapers, no sleep, my dream wedding gone, people disappointed and turning their backs. He suggested I could sweep this problem under the rug. But as strong as those words were in my mind, the Lord's words were stronger: God will never forsake us. Children are a blessing from the Lord. He is a father to the fatherless. God formed the baby. The baby isn't a mistake because God doesn't make mistakes."
The game ended when Jana sat down with pen and paper. "One of the things that helped me make a decision not to abort was my decision to write to the baby and let her know she was not the sin. I'm the one who stepped out of the Lord's will. I realized then that I couldn't deny her existence. I was writing her a letter. I can't explain it, but once I made the decision not to abort my baby, I had perfect peace about the matter."
CONFESSION
Now with her mind made up to keep the baby, Jana headed to church to see if they would keep her. "I went to my pastor two days after I found out I was pregnant. He didn't want to remove me, instead he got me in touch with a girl who had already gone through this and kept her baby. He was concerned about my relationship with Christ and how I was going to react to my consequences. He prayed with me right away that I would understand the forgiveness of God. He continues to show me the true love of Christ."
Pastor Clark Crebar, an out-of-wedlock child himself, remembers when Jana came in. He said he looked to Christ for how to approach the situation. "In all of Scripture I've never seen Jesus turn away a repentant heart. I don't want young women to get into trouble and run away from the church. This is the first place they should come."
LOVE IN ACTION
From that moment on, Jana was astounded by the love and compassion that poured out from her church. "People began sending encouraging notes, gift certificates for baby things, and offers of babysitting and support. Satan doesn't tell you that people are going to love you through this."
Another reality that Jana didn't anticipate was that other 'good girls' became transparent, revealing their past decision to abort. "They would assure me that I was making the right choice because of the consequences they experienced and were still going through. They are very thankful I've kept the baby. They struggle with memories and continually ask themselves how old their babies would be. For each of them, the child became real only after the child was already gone. But they weren't allowed to grieve because the world said that the child never was. I'm learning that revealing your sin and having freedom is better than hiding it and having no one know."
SOLE PROVIDER
Today Jana is enjoying full freedom in Christ. "I play for an audience of one now, and that is God. Before, I couldn't be vulnerable with my brothers and sisters in Christ out of fear of what they might think of me. I've now learned there is freedom in being open and honest with people. I trust God more now with my future than I did before this happened. I can't wait to see how the Lord will be my strength in providing for my baby. He is my ultimate provider. I trust Him."
| ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lynne Thompson is a freelance author and resides in Modesto, California, with her husband and two children. |
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