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By Tracy Keen
 As a volunteer at a PCC, you may have stumbled across a question that seems a little out of place. The question usually appears on the form for the initial interview of PCC clients. Some volunteers feel free to ask the question but don't see how it connects with abortion. Others simply skip over the question, seeing no purpose in asking such a sensitive question. That question is: "Have you ever been the victim of sexual abuse?"
Why is this question asked by an organization that deals mostly with abortion-vulnerable women? Isn't this a completely separate issue? It is and it isn't. True, not every female sexual abuse victim will become abortion vulnerable. The connection goes a little deeper.
The question of sexual abuse is asked because of the tendency for a sexually abused victim to be more permissive in her sexual boundaries. This does not mean that every sexually abused victim has no choice in her sexual behavior. However, those victims of sexual abuse who have not submitted to Christ and received godly counseling are likely to have a greater struggle.
So how does asking the question regarding sexual abuse help? By asking this question, you as the volunteer counselor will be able to gain a better idea of how to attack the root of the problem. At some point in time, while counseling, a volunteer is bound to come across a woman who has had numerous pregnancy tests. She may even have had a few children and some abortions. There may seem to be a pattern in the woman's life of making poor choices when it comes to her sexual boundaries. A counselor who asks the question about sexual abuse may have a better idea as to what the woman is struggling with and may be able to direct the woman to professional help.
So, if asking the question about sexual abuse can have promising outcomes, why is it sometimes hard to ask? The struggle may come with the fact that the question is very personal. The volunteer may feel helpless and unable to give the woman the care she needs, or the volunteer may be uncomfortable with asking a question about sexual abuse because she is being or has been sexually abused. If you as a volunteer have also been the victim of sexual abuse, you know that true healing can come only by addressing the matter.
Another reason the question about sexual abuse may be so hard to ask is because there was no choice given to the victim. A woman who walks into the center to learn about abortion procedures knows she has to make a choice, life or death. Yet, an abused woman was not allowed the freedom to opt out of being abused.
So what can you as the volunteer do when a woman gives the answer "yes" to the sexual abuse question? The first thing you can do for her is to pray for her on your own. Realize that she has come down a hard road, and there may still be many more bumps in her path. The next thing is to ask her if she has ever received any type of counseling or help. If she says that she has not, be prepared to give her the name of a licensed counselor who deals with abuse victims. If she says that she has received counseling but based on her information you see a pattern of sexually permissive behavior, counseling may still be needed. A good response would be: "I am glad you have received help, but if I may, I want to give you the name of a local counselor in case you have any future struggles or know someone else who also needs help."
BY OFFERING AN
ABUSED WOMAN
PROFESSIONAL
HELP, YOU COULD
BE BREAKING
SOME CHAINS.
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If the woman isn't receptive to getting counseling, don't press the issue. Remember, it is important to create a comfortable atmosphere in which she can express her struggles. If she feels comfortable and knows she is free to express her hurts, she may come around in another session.
By offering an abused woman professional help, you could be breaking some chains. First, the chain of abuse could be broken. Abused women who never receive help may in turn abuse their children or not take notice of potentially abusive situations. The second chain involves the feelings the woman may be harboring, feelings of guilt, bitterness, despair, and anger. If the second chain is broken, it will help to break the first chain.
Until an abused woman learns to deal with the bitterness towards her abuser, the guilt within herself, and the despair over her future, she will never truly know freedom. Even a Christian woman who has been abused will still have to deal with these feelings.
A woman who does not have a proper outlet for these emotions will release her tensions in destructive ways such as withdrawal, eating disorders, abusing others, or sexually permissive behavior. This is why asking the question about sexual abuse is so important.
Although you as a volunteer may not be fully equipped to counsel an abused woman, you can be the person who takes the time to show her where to go to receive help. God may use you to help break the cycle of abuse to help set a woman free from her feelings of anger and bitterness. Abused women would like to change their outlook, their feelings, and their lives, and they can—if only someone would take the time to ask them a question.
| Tracy Keen is Development Coordinator for the Wayne Pregnancy Care Center in Goldsboro, North Carolina. |
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